Balloons.

When I was a little boy around the ages of 5-10, I used to love and hate balloons at the same time. I used to love it as it was like a companion which was always in a colourful mood. It used to make me feel happy.

However, I used to hate balloons because I noticed that the Balloons started to deflate and it felt as if my 'friend' was going to die. This was, of course, before I was really into Buddhism and my knowledge of impermanence was rather impaired at the time.

Thus, it was due to balloons that I learned about impermanence.

I used to cry and cry as I watched the balloons deflate. Being a child who was usually shy and anti-social, the balloons were pretty much my only constant friends, who were there when I needed them and I felt comfortable with as they were not capable of showing feelings.

 After crying, I got over it and moved on until the next balloon came along. I just toss the old balloon in the trash or wait for the maid to do it.

Then, I wondered what if I deflate one day, will people cry for a bit and then just forget about me? It kept me thinking until recently after looking at other people who died that people will just forget about you.

Now, I realise that all humans, young or old, are just like the balloons of my childhood days. Balloons that are deflating.

Till this day, I still hate balloons. I do not mind popping balloons or looking at them but I hate having balloons by my side as it reminds me of life being something that is always slowly seeping away. I know I should be embracing the truth but sometimes seeing a 'friend' wither away slowly, causes tears to flow from my eyes.

This post is not meant to be morbid and I am not a child with a twisted personality but this blog post is to let everyone know who I was since I was a child and also to let people know what I used to fear as a child.